Dear Anxiety, We Need to Talk: A Breakup Letter” – A humorous take on breaking up with anxiety like a toxic ex

 Dear Anxiety, We Need to Talk: A Breakup Letter

Dear Anxiety,

It’s not me. It’s you.

We’ve been together for a long time—longer than I’d like to admit. You crept into my life uninvited, like a persistent ex who just won’t take the hint. At first, I thought you were just looking out for me. A little nervous energy before a big test? Sure. A racing heart before an important meeting? Fine. But then you got clingy, overbearing, and—let’s be honest—a bit of a drama queen.

You text my brain at 3 AM with messages like, “Hey, remember that embarrassing thing you did in 7th grade?” or “What if you forget how to breathe?” You barge into my peaceful moments, whispering, “Something bad is definitely about to happen.” And let’s not forget your favorite move—making my stomach flip like an overcaffeinated gymnast for absolutely no reason.

I’ve tried to be patient with you. I really have. I even entertained your constant need for reassurance, letting you dictate my plans and overthink every conversation. But enough is enough. I deserve a partner who lifts me up, not one who convinces me the world is on fire every time I forget to reply to a text within two minutes.

So, Anxiety, I’m officially breaking up with you. It’s not a temporary break, not a "let’s just be friends" situation. This is a full, clean-cut, new-life, fresh-air, deep-breath breakup.

Don’t get me wrong—I appreciate the lessons you’ve taught me. You’ve made me more aware of my mental health. You’ve helped me develop coping strategies, like deep breathing, journaling, and pretending I have my life together. But just because I’ve grown doesn’t mean I need you hovering over me like a helicopter parent with a PhD in Worst-Case Scenarios.

I know you won’t take this well. You’ll try to weasel your way back in. You’ll show up when I’m about to do something outside my comfort zone, whispering, “What if you fail?” You’ll make surprise guest appearances when I’m finally relaxing, just to remind me of all the things I could be worrying about instead. But guess what? I’m onto you.

So, here’s the deal: I’m replacing you with deep breaths, daily walks, and a little thing called self-compassion. I’m choosing to trust myself. I’m choosing peace. I’m choosing to ignore your late-night texts and unsubscribing from your newsletter of doom.

This is goodbye, Anxiety. And no, we are not getting back together.

Sincerely, Your ex bestie